mushroosms | Diet, Dessert and Dogs

PS, I Love You: V-Day Dinner 2009

February 18, 2009

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(“Um, Mum, we are coming with you, aren’t we? Because (and sorry to have to tell you this), we actually have more fans on this blog than you do.”)

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[Dig that romantic lighting in this photo!]

I have a new love, and it’s not the HH.

(“What? Mum, you’re not getting a divorce, are you? Because who’s going to walk us in the morning if Dad is gone??“). Now, before I go and scare The Girls, I should specify that I’m not referring to a human object of my affection. I’m talking about a new food-related amore: celeri rémoulade. (“Phew! Mum, you really shouldn’t scare us that way. We’re very sensitive, you know.”)

Let me backtrack a bit and explain. Even though the HH and I do celebrate Valentine’s Day, for the past few years we’ve done so a day or two after the fact, in order to avoid the too-crowded-too-expensive-too-mushy restaurant crowds who seem to roll out like fog off a San Francisco pier all on that one day. Last year (the first V-day to occur after I started writing this blog), I broke all previous records and assembled a multi-course, ultra-extravagant, über-romantic and oh-so-dirty dinner (no, no, no, that would have scared the dogs even more than a breakup! We’d never offend their delicate sensibilities that way. I meant “dirty” as in, “generating a lot of dirty dishes,” silly!). I vowed that this year, we’d move to the other end of the spectrum, with a simple, quick, yet equally delectable meal. (“Thanks, Mum. That divorce scare was more than enough for one day.”)

I’d actually chosen the appetizer over a month ago, after reading about celeri rémoulade on Molly’s blog. Her description was so alluring–rapturous, almost–citing the “clean, fragrant crunch of celery root, and the alchemy of mayonnaise and Dijon mustard. . . . somewhat rich [with a] flavor [that’s] light, bright, even hungry-making, a perfect start to a meal,” that I knew I had to try it out. The only glitch, of course, is that traditionally, the dish contains copious amounts of both mayonnaise and yogurt (the vegan versions of which are a tad too processed for my liking). Never mind; I decided to deal with that later.

For the main course, I considered a recipe for Tempeh Stroganoff I’d found in an old (October 2007!) issue of Vegetarian Times.

[11:32 AM. Ricki and the HH sit at the kitchen table, sipping tea and nibbling on muffins. The Girls lie on the carpet in front of the fireplace, Chaser sprawled with her belly facing the fire, while Else lies curled in a ball.]

Ricki: How about this tempeh stroganoff from Vegetarian Times?

HH: No.

Ricki: But it sounds delicious! And it’s even gluten-fr–

HH: Uh-uh. No. Nada. No way. Nein. [As if to remind Ricki of a forgotten promise]: No tofu.

Ricki: But it’s not tofu. It’s tempeh.

HH: Tempeh, tofu–same difference. No soy products.

Ricki: [pouting] Well, but, this is what I want for dinner!

HH: Okay, fine. I’ll make a steak and have the stroganoff as a side dish.

Ricki: That’s why I love you, sweetheart. Happy Valentine’s Day! Kiss kiss squeeze squeeze hug hug. . .

Okay, I didn’t really say that. But I did think it. Here’s what I did say:

Ricki: Well, in that case, I think I’ll make it with these fabulous tempeh meatless balls that I read about on Happyveganface.

HH: Still not eating it.

Me: That’s fine, HH. But just because you’re cooking your own steak doesn’t mean you don’t have to help me make the stroganoff.

HH: Okay.

Ricki: That’s why I love you, sweetheart. Happy Valentine’s Day! Kiss kiss squeeze squeeze hug hug. . .

We figured we could whip up the stroganoff in under an hour (bake the meatballs while I made the sauce; julienne the celery root while the stroganoff simmered), having time to leisurely prepare the meal ensemble while listening to some Rodrigo, exchange good-natured banter, toss cashews to The Girls and sip our favorite bargain basement champagne, sort of like we used to do in the early days of our relationship. We’d have the early part of the day to relax in our jammies, peruse the newspaper, play with The Girls, check favorite blogs, and so on. Perfect!

After a chillaxing day (browsing the paper, taking The Girls for a trail-walk, visiting the workout club–how ya doin’, burly guy with the black knee socks? Nice to see you again, septuagenarian couple with the matching T-shirts! Nice day, isn’t it, bleached blonde with the flirty giggle!), we finally turned to dinner.

Perhaps I should have planned this “easy peasy” meal just a tad more carefully. (Of course, by the time I got round to cooking, I was semi sloshed on Segura Viudas, which may have contributed to my somewhat inefficient kitchen artistry–but still).

First, I discovered that the cashews (the main ingredient in the homemade sour cream) required an hour’s soaking, which set our prep time back by an hour. No problem: I’d whir together some homemade vegan mayonnaise (I used the recipe in Cozy Inside, but this one sounds just as good) and whip up the meatballs while the nuts soaked. Then, I’d quickly prep the sour cream and throw together the stroganoff while the HH grilled his steak. We’d be done and ready to dig in by 7:00 PM at the latest.

[7:00 PM. Having forgotten about the initial chopping and sautéing involved, Ricki is still mixing ingredients for the meatballs. Sounds of rumbling tummies can be heard in the background.]

HH: So, um, what’s our ETA for dinner?

Ricki: Well, I’ll just pop these meatballs in the oven–I couldn’t bear to fry them–and then make the mayo and sour cream, and then I can whip up the stroganoff, and then the celeri rémoulade, oh, and then I guess we should think about dessert–

HH: I thought this was going to be a quick and easy dinner.

Ricki [pouting]: Well, now, I suppose it HAS been easy for YOU, hasn’t it, Mr. Lazypants? I mean, I’VE done all the work so far, I’m standing here covered in onion juice and flour and cashew crumbs, and YOU’VE been sittng there all day reading the paper and playing with the dogs, sipping your champagne, now, haven’t you?? Well, I wouldn’t be complaining right about now if I were you, mister, you’d better watch yourself, or else—

HH: Um, well, I’m actually happy to help. Just tell me what to chop. Oh, and here’s your Valentine’s Day present [brandishing chocolate].

Me: Oh, that’s why I love you, sweetheart! Happy Valentine’s Day! Kiss kiss squeeze squeeze hug hug. . .

Ultimately, we didn’t sit down at the table until well after 8:00 PM (have you ever julienned a celery root by hand??? Insanity, I tell you–sheer insanity). But the results were well worth it. The celeri rémoulade was, as Molly promised, fresh, crisp, light, and entirely irresistible. I really did fall in love, and ate two servings before even thinking about my stroganoff.

The main course, too, offered a winning combination of succulent, filling meatless balls atop a plate of velvety, herbaceous sauce. It practically hummed its smooth melody of rich, sour cream and savory, toothsome mushrooms.

It may have been more complex than anticipated, and it may have taken six times as long as anticipated, and it may have been cobbled together from seven different recipes intended for seven other purposes. . . but this meal was remarkable all the same.

After all, who ever said the road to true love was an easy one?

In case you’d like to reproduce the meal yourself (if you happen to have three and a half hours to spare some weekend), here’s how I assembled it.

And since celery root is available in Ontario in February, this post is my submission to Maninas’s event, Eating with the Seasons, for February.

Vegan Celeri Rémoulade

adapted from Orangette

TO VIEW THE COMPLETE RECIPE, PLEASE VISIT THIS PAGE ON THE NEW DIET, DESSERT AND DOGS, BY CLICKING HERE.

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