Dog Day: Be Mine

“Mum, I heard it’s Valentine’s Day, so I’m practising my best come-hither look. . . do you think that cute Henry will notice?  In the meantime, would you mind peeling me a grape?” **

“Hey, Elsie, is this how you do it?  How’s this, huh? What do you think?  Is this come hither? Huh?  Well, I don’t like grapes, anyway.  Sigh.”

** Yes, I know grapes should never be fed to dogs.  The references was for quoting song lyric purposes only. 

Happy Valentine’s Day!! 🙂

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Have a Wonderful Holiday

To everyone celebrating today, whether Christmas or just time off–

Hope your holidays are joyful, relaxing, fun, filled with delicious food and in the company of loved ones!

[NB.  No dogs were harmed in the making of this photo, despite the fact that Chaser looks like a terrified deer in the headlights.  She really is a drama queen.]

“Oh, Mum, I always thought I was royalty!  Tell my subjects that Elsie and I send our very best wishes, too!  And I just can’t wait to go out and romp in the snow this holiday!  And maybe you and Dad got us some new toys this holiday, wouldn’t that be great?  And maybe we can get to go for some extra walks over the–“

“Zip it, Chaser, or we’ll never get that treat Mum promised us for wearing these ridiculous hats.  *Sigh.*”

Im FReE

Mi Mum tuk off th kone becuz i wuz so sad. **

Now Im happee I playd with Chsr tody. But she bits my ear maybee i shud put th kone bak on.

Thnks for asking abut me.  Wht grate blog buddys yu all are.

xoxoxoxo Elsie

**Also becuz i kept hittng th wall and got stuk on the stairs.

Extreme Meme, an Award and an Injury: Some Non-Food Tidbits

Recently, I was tagged by Kelly at The Pink Apron and River of Wing It Vegan to share 7 random facts about myself, and Giz at Equal Opportunity Kitchen to do a blog-related meme.

I do enjoy memes (and love reading about others through their memes), but I must admit that I am finding it more and more difficult to come up with new facts about myself.  That, and I suspect some of you are growing a little weary of reading about me and my various eccentricities, when what you’re really here for is the food! 😉

“Um, Mum, your readers may be a bit overloaded on YOUR memes, but what about us?  There are still plenty of random facts we could tell you about the two of us. . . .”

“Yeah, right! Hey, Elsie, how about that we love to play!  And that the yellow ball is my favorite!  Oh, oh, and that we LOVE to jump up on people!  And what about that we bark at cars that drive by outside!  Or that we love Greenies!  Or how about the way I pull on your ear every 30 seconds–“

“Zip it, Chaser. I am sure they get the idea. But there will be no ear-pulling for the next ten days, at least.”

Ah, yes, that reminds me: before I get to the meme, I should also mention the “Injury” referred to in the post title.  Once again, our accident-prone Elsie Girl has had a brush with the law  mortality a metal post. While frolicking with her sister the other day, sweet Elsie ran too close to a steel goal post at the park and whacked her side against it, ripping off a chunk of her haunch.  Poor baby!  And so the HH and I (and Chaser, who, after all, couldn’t be left all alone at home) spent our Saturday evening at the Vet Emergency clinic, where Elsie was treated to a bit of a shave, a cleansing of the wound, some staples to reconnect the skin, and a lovely cone on her head, which she absolutely abhors, poor thing.

Here she is, in all her misery:

[“Help. . . . me. . . . . “]

The worst part is that Chaser is terrified of the cone and won’t go near Elsie right now.  No more ear-biting, indeed.

And now, on to the meme, and seven random facts about me.  I won’t tag anyone else (it seems many of you have already done this one), but please do feel free to participate if you’d like.  

1) I didn’t learn to drive a car until I was about 30.  Well, I first acquired my license at 16 like the rest of my friends, but then moved away to university and didn’t have the opportunity to drive again until I was married.  I’d taken lessons for about a week when my husband and I decided to separate, which meant I was driving myself to work (about an hour each way) along busy provincial highways long before I felt ready to do so.  Talk about baptism by fire! (In this case, by ice, actually, as it was mid-winter when all this transpired).  A couple of dents to the fender and more than a decade later, and I’m finally comfortable behind the wheel.

2) I collect odd cups and saucers, and champagne flutes.    When I was a kid, my mom had a collection of odd cups and saucers that seemed to exist just outside our awareness in a glass cabinet in the kitchen. When I moved out on my own, however, my sisters starting giving me similar items as gifts, and I began to really appreciate them.  I love the varying patterns one finds on the older designs, the delicate structure of the cup and saucer, the nearly transparent quality of the fine china, and the elegance they exude (I always feel I should raise my pinkie when I sip out of one of them). 

A few years after I began to collect the cups and saucers, I was introduced to champagne (or, at least, sparkling wine) when a friend served me a glass of Segura Viudas.  Well, I was so impressed that shortly thereafter, I began to collect champagne flutes, too.  I’ll often buy them on sale at the end of the season–who wants to buy just one flute, right?–and have amassed about 3 dozen so far. 

  My favorites are a couple I received for birthdays, the voluptuous pewter-stemmed one the HH gave me the first year we were together (see left), and the Waterford crystal pair the HH and I purchased for the turn of the century. 

3) I memorized every word of Beowulf in the original Old English during my PhD.  For our final exam, we were given a random passage in Old English and had to translate it.  Not wanting to take any chances, I decided to memorize the entire poem.  How much do I remember today?  This much: “Hwat! we, Gar-dena, in yeor dayum. . .”  Yep, the first five words. Well, it got me an “A” on the exam, anyway.

4) I was asked to be Valedictorian at my high school graduation, but I was too shy and said no.  Decades later, I’m still shy, but when I was given the opportunity again for my graduation from nutrition school in 2003, I decided I couldn’t pass it up twice, and said yes.  Very happy that I did!

5) When I was a teen, some of my friends and I worked as cashiers at the local drugstore (called a “pharmacy” in Montreal, even though the actual pharmacy dispensary was a small space at the back of the store).  We used to call it “The Phunny Pharm.”  My friends Babe, Sterlin, Phil and Angel also all worked there, so on any given day, it was guaranteed that I’d be working alongside one of my best friends.  We often created code words to alert each other when a cute guy came in the store. The names were connected to various cigarette brands (which, in those days, were sold out in the open from shelves behind the cash).  The cuter the guy, the stronger the brand we chose for his nickname.  When we saw a REALLY cute guy, we’d call across the aisle to each other, “Hey, Ric, do you have any packs of Rothmans at your cash?” or, “Um, Sterlin, I think I’ve run out of Du Maurier over here. . . ” The men never twigged in to it, even though sometimes three of us would come running to the counter at the same time, all ostensibly “looking for a pack of Rothmans.”

6) I started smoking in my 20s and didn’t quit until I met the HH in 1997 (at which point I was smoking about 1/2 pack a day–though nothing as strong as Rothman’s, of course).  Now, don’t go thinking that he was such a great influence on me, or anything. . . I quit because of my various health issues, not for love (how very unromantic of me, I know).  When I revamped my diet, I figured I should give my lungs a break, too.  The only smoke I’ve inhaled since then is second-hand. 

7) I once got to meet Chris de Burgh in person (true, not very exciting to all of you out there too young to recognize the name!).  At the height of his popularity, some friends and I went to one of his concerts in Montreal.  Because my friend Angel had met him while traveling in Ireland and they’d become correspondents (in the days before email, folks), he arranged backstage passes for her and five of her friends.  Somewhere in a box in my basement is a wine-stained scrap of paper on which is scrawled something to the effect of, “For Ricki, With all best wishes, Chris de Burgh.”  (Hey–maybe I can sell it and become one of those mansion-people I wrote about in the last post?)

So there you go, seven random facts.  I know I mentioned yet another meme to post, but I think I’ll save that for another day and avert a real Meme Overload.  And on the subject of overloading, I’ve got a nice, light and not-too-filling post-Thanksgiving recipe for you next time round.

To those of you in the U.S., hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

[“I bet all those people outside are having a great holiday weekend. . . and all I can do is stare out this window. . . *sigh*.”]

Dog Day: Happy Halloween

Possible Captions:

“”We are peasant babooshkas who have toiled in the fields and lost our fortunes, so please give us some food.”

“We are cute little homeless girls and we have lost our fortunes, so please give us some food.”

“We are (food)bank robbers here to get our fortunes, so give us some food–or else.”

“Mum, we are humiliated having to wear these costumes, so please stop this silly trick and just give us the treats.”

“Mum, we are kinda freaked out by these tight-fitting costumes, so please stop this silly trick and just give us the treats.”

“Mum, why must you anthropomorphize us and make us wear these silly costumes?  We deserve our canine dignity!  Now, give us some treats.”

“Mum, is this the best you could do for costumes?  An old hat and a scarf?  Really, Mum, this is beneath us.  I think you’d better just give us our treats.”

“Wow, look how monstrous our eyes seem with the yellow and green shiny glow in the center!  MWWHOOOHAAAA,  Scary! Okay, now give us some treats.”

“I think this brown and orange ensemble is rather fetching on me, don’t you, Elsie?” “I’ll fetch YOU, Chaser. Sure, you get the vibrant colors and I get the dowdy gray.  I think I need some treats.”

“Oooh, Mr. Demille, I think I’m ready for my close up!” “Oh, great, Chaser, now we might never get out of these horrible things. Couldn’t you just zip it? Those treats are taking forever. . .  *sigh*.”

And please feel free to add more captions in the comments section . . . .

and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

The Universe is Random

I’d planned to begin posting the next Lucky Comestible (coconut) today, but as it turned out I was completely wiped out after participating in the local (and first annual) Totally Fabulous Vegan Bakeoff yesterday.  The event, sponsored by the Toronto Vegetarian Association in honor of World Vegetarian Day, hosted 30 entrants (of which I was one) to participate by presenting baked goods in four categories.  Sorry to say I didn’t win any prizes (I entered my vegan butter tarts). My entry was well received by the audience and judges, but fell far behind in the looks and presentation department (okay, maybe not the prettiest dessert, but how could they not appreciate such patriotism??).  I was truly amazed at some of the elaborately decorated baked goods!  Still, it was great fun to participate and also sample some of the other entrants’ delicious baked goodies.

Well, since I don’t have a new food post for y’all just yet (tomorrow, I promise!), I thought I’d FINALLY catch up on memes and thanks. 

As I said, I didn’t win anything at the bakeoff, but I WAS awarded this “Kick Ass Blogger” award by Giz and Psychgrad over at Equal Opportunity Kitchen.  Thanks so much, both of you–I am honored to be a recipient (at least it was “kick” and not “big”!)

And now, the much neglected, ostensibly (but not) forgotten, fun-loving memes! Months ago (or was it longer?), I was tagged by Lisa at the lovely and delicious My Own Sweet Thyme and then Tinker from the entertaining and informative Tinker Culture for a “Six Random Things About You” tag.  (And I do apologize, ladies, for taking this long to get to it!)

Here are the rules for the meme:

Tag Rules:

• Link to the person who tagged you.
• Post the rules on the blog.
• Write six random things about yourself.
• Tag six people at the end of your post.
• Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
• Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

I’ve done a couple of similar tags before, and I always find myself to be pathetically meme-challenged.  It’s not that there aren’t many random facts about me, but just not that many of interest to anyone but the HH or The Girls. Forgive me if certain themes are repeated. . . here goes:

Dog Theme:

1) The first dog we had when I was a kid was a boxer named Princess.  I was about four at the time, and while Princess was very sweet and loving, I realize now that she had a few dominance issues.  Apparently (according to my mom), every night, I’d go to sleep with Princess draped across my feet at the foot of the bed.  In the morning, my mom said, she’d enter the room to find Princess comfortably sprawled over the entire bed while I was asleep. . . on the floor.  (Strangely, I still love dogs–but could that have anything to do with our training The Girls to stay off the furniture?).

Fashion Theme:

2) I own lots of costume earrings. Like, lots.  My mom never left the house without earrings on, and I must have inherited that tendency; I feel naked if I’m not wearing any. I love costume jewelry because that way I can own earrings to match virtually every piece of clothing.  (Another major advantage of earrings, of course, is that they always fit you, no matter how much weight you gain). 

I’ve got plastic earring in every stripe of the rainbow; multi-colored, floppy cloth earrings; feather earrings; black with silver, black with “gold,” black with any color you can imagine; dangly, stud, hoops, and even fish-shaped earrings.  The only real gold earrings I own were given to me by the men in my life (doesn’t that just make me sound so. . . promiscuous worldly? Okay, that accounts for 2 pairs of earrings. . . but still.)

3) I still possess several items of clothing from high school.  Oh, sure, that may not seem very significant to those of you in your 20s or younger, but I’m talking decades ago.  I still have the first pair of Lee overalls I ever bought, complete with my own embroidery flowers in an oh-so-Love Child sort of pattern.  I’ve got a blue woolen mini skirt that I snagged at Value Village when I was an undergrad, and though I’ll likely never wear it again, I can’t part with it because it’s such good quality and I so love it.  I’ve got a wildly printed tunic-shirt that I still wear (!!) just because I adore the crazy flowery pattern so much.  And I’ve held on to all the hand-knit and hand-sewn stuff I made over the years, as well as a few sweaters mom knit for me, for the obvious sentimental reasons.  Why keep all these clothes, you ask?  Well, anyone whose weight has ricocheted as wildly as mine has knows you never throw away good clothes–who knows when they might fit you again?

Physical Quirks Theme:

4) I’m near-sighted in one eye and far-sighted in the other.  Apart from glasses that make one eye look slightly larger than the other, this quirk of nature allows me to grow old a little more gracefully, as I don’t require reading glasses just yet, since my near-sighted eye can actually see better these days, while the far-sighted eye allows me to continue to see everything else.

CareerTheme:

5) One summer, I worked as a telephone salesperson selling frozen sides of beef. The company was called Hunk ‘N Chunk Freezer meats, and I had to cold call (frozen call?) people and ask if they wanted to purchase a year’s worth of pre-cut cow.  The boss started me off at 5 cents commission (yes, five cents) per sale.  By the end of the week, I guess I’d exceeded his expectations, as I was raised to ten cents per sale.  I ended up quitting after 2 weeks when another job I’d applied for, secretary for an insurance company, came through. My Hunky boss (in fact, he actually was hunky) did subsequently invite me to his family’s Sunday dinner, however, which turned out to be a blind date with his son (I guess I didn’t exceed his expectations–no gifts of jewelry ever came of that meeting).

6) During my first year in Toronto as a grad student at the University of Toronto, I was lucky enough to nab a position as don in the girls’ residence (after the interview, the Dean told me she just “had to meet someone who worked at a place called Hunk N Chunk Freezer Meats” because that meant I “must have had a good sense of humor.”)  In exchange for being a sort of elder cousin on the residence floor, I was afforded the privilege of free room and board–in downtown Toronto (approximate monetary value in today’s dollars: $572,683.47 per month).  I loved the gals with whom I shared the floor that year, and always felt as if I got the best end of the deal.  I could walk to classes simply by strolling through the appropriately majestic Queen’s Park and came to know the city first-hand by living right in the midst of it.  It also gave me the unique experience of living in centuries-old historical structure (if you don’t count the haunted house my friends and I camped out in that one summer in high school).

I know the meme rules suggest that I pass this along to others, but rather than choose specific people, I’m going to leave an open invitation to anyone who wishes to participate.  We bloggers love to learn a little more about each other beyond the food–so go ahead and pick your own six things! 🙂

Tomorrow:  Coconut!

Dog Day: Sibling Rituals/Sibling Revelry

Some people say that having a dog is like taking care of a three year old–forever.  Sometimes, when The Girls engage in their morning play rituals, I think those people are right. 

Here’s a little glimpse into canine sibling relationships. . . .it all starts when Chaser wants to play (which is pretty much all the time, come to think of it):

[“Hey, Elsie, c’mon, let’s play!”

“Don’t bug me, kid.”]

[“Awww, c’mon, Elsie, don’tcha wanna play?  Huh?  Can we? Can we play?  Huh?  How ’bout now?  Let’s play! Do you wanna?  Now? C’mon–“]

[“I. . . SAID. . . GRRRRRROWWWWLLLLLLL!! I WILL EAT YOU NOW!!!”]

[“Oh, ha ha! You don’t scare me. . . look, my mouth is just as big as yours.  So now, let’s PLAY!!“]

[“Oops, wait a sec–looks like Dad might have food. . . nope.  False alarm.”]

[Wrestle. . . wrestle. . . snap. . . nip. . . growl. . . tumble. . .paw. . . wrestle. . ]

[“Aw, thanks, Elsie!  I love you. . . you’re my favorite sister.”]

[“Suddenly I’m feeling very tired again. . . I think it might be time for a nap. . . “]

[“You said it. . . I’m pooped.”]

Dog Day: No Food Today

No food today, my love has gone away. . .

No, not really (well, unless you count chocolate going away). 

However, today’s blog title is a bit of a double entendre: first, since today was Day One of my detox regimen (no wheat, animal products, sugar; and NO GRAINS), I do somehow feel as if I’ve had no “real” food yet (though I must admit, I actually ingested a fair amount); second,  as a result of today’s overcast, dreary, and very glum weather, I have no food to share with you all on the blog.  Oh, I prepared something, all right; I was just unable to produce a photograph in which you could actually make out anything recognizable as food (or anything else) beneath the obscuring veil of gray (a pox on that inadequate, gratis camera, I say!). 

For now all I can share is this: I prepared a soup; and the HH and I practically licked our bowls clean when we ate it.  I promise to try again tomorrow (no hardship having to eat it again, believe me), since the weather is supposed to be sunny and more conducive to taking photos.

In the meantime, it seemed as if even The Girls were having a hard time finding food today.

[“Oh, Mum, you embarrass us.  And really, if you gave us more food, we wouldn’t have to eat this crappy green ball.  (Oh, wait a sec, we’re color blind. . . that was just a lucky guess.)”]

Dog Day: Still a Happy Day

Having lost my own mother over 15 years ago (yes, far too young, for both of us) and never having personally enjoyed the tangle of emotions that is motherhood, I tend to overlook today’s particular holiday, celebrated by the bulk of the Western world.

While catching up on my ever-expanding list of blogs on Google Reader, I happened upon Ashasarala’s poignant post for today.  It got me thinking:  aren’t I still a daughter?  And what about those other “mothers” I’ve known in my life (both actual and figurative), from my beloved CBC to my older sister to a couple of my best friends? This seems the perfect day to connect with those mothers, whether through birth, adoption, extended family, or simply psychological ties.

So here’s a wish for all of you who are, have been, or just feel like mothers today: may you enjoy meaningful, happy and loving encounters on this day, with the people (and pets) who mean the most to you–whoever they are. 

[“See, Chaser, I told you you were adopted!”

“Um, hate to tell you, Elsie, but with that shnoz, it’s obvious that you shouldn’t be sounding so smug, either.”]

Dog Day: A Study in Contrasts

Tonight I start my course, Total Health, and I can hardly wait.  I am truly hoping that a holistic, well-rounded approach to diet and lifestyle will put me back on the right track to improved health.  This is one area where the HH has a hard time comprehending the Herculean effort it takes to avoid certain food-related temptations, as he is naturally slim, has never had an eating disorder, and knows exactly when to stop eating, even if he adores the food on his plate. 

As I’ve mentioned before, food isn’t the only area where the HH and I differ.  My beloved and I are, shall we say, sort of like Oscar and Felix. . . like analog and digital. . . like yin and yang. . . like ice cream and tofutti. . . like Sonny and Cher. . . like Jack Spratt and–well, you get the idea.  (And, on another note: how did we ever survive without Wikipedia–seriously?).

Anyway, that got me thinking about the old cliché that says dog owners and their dogs come to resemble each other more and more as the years go by. . . I’m not sure about the looks department, but Elsie and Chaser sure do mimic me and the HH in the realm of personalities.  (I’ll leave it to you to guess who’s who).

You couldn’t invent two more polar opposites than The Girls:  while Elsie is demure, reserved and shy, Chaser is entirely in your face. 

[“Ha ha Elsie, bet you can’t catch me!” “Oh, really, Chaser, you are sooooo immature.”]

Where Elsie is timid and afraid, Chaser is “I can do it!  C’mon–let me jump out that second storey window!” 

(“Hmmm. . . all I need to do is push up that blind, then balance on the windowsill. . . yep, I’m sure I could do it. . .)

Where Elsie is polite and respectful (“Why, yes, Mum, please do go ahead of me through this doorway, I wouldn’t have it any other way”), Chaser is always pushing the envelope (“Doorbell!  I’m on it!  Let’s go!! Outta the way!  Someone’s there!!”).

(“Here is that frisbee you requested, Mum.  Where would you like me to deposit it?”)

Where Elsie is elegant, graceful, and glides silently from room to room, Chaser is the class clown, the one who lacks coordination and who’s all legs, thumping her way across a room (and, in fact, one of her many sobriquets around here is “Thumper”).

 

(“Chaser, you’ve got your legs in my back again.  Sheesh. Can’t a gal get any sleep around here?”)

Where Elsie is a little chubby, rounded and soft (in all the right places), Chaser is lanky, lean and lithe.

 

(“Mum, Elsie’s taking up too much room. . . my legs don’t fit in this space.”)

When we first got Elsie, we were afraid that she had no vocal chords.  In fact, we didn’t even know she was capable of barking until she was about 10 months old. 

(“ *Sigh* “)

Chaser, on the other hand, whined the entire way home from the first afternoon we got her.  She is also, as the HH is fond of saying, rather “lippy”:  I’ve never known another dog that yelps, whines, howls, cries, barks, growls, and basically complains as much as she does.  Oh, and she groans.  Like an old man, like a creaky rocking chair, like an exasperated audience at the comedy improv:  there we’ll be, late at night in utter darkness, trying to sleep. . . when suddenly, I’ll hear the rumble of an outboard motor–but emanating from the foot of our bed: it’s just Chaser, changing position in her sleep, and groaning.

(” *** Groan ***”)

Well, despite their differences, The Girls have managed to find a balance, to develop a true love for each other and their respective quirks and peccadilloes (as have the HH and I). 

 And anyway, what would life be without a little contrast?  

[Photo of a photo of] The HH and me dressed as Sonny and Cher for a Hallowe’en party, the year we met (and before the dreaded weight gain). Dig those wigs! .]

(“Mum, you totally embarrass us. . . no, we don’t care that people know about our cute little quirks, but how could you publish that photo of you and Dad?? Oh, cringe. . . “)